I believe in the power of reflection. It allows us space from the actual events and choices we've made; thus, it enables us to more accurately assess motives and what worked great, as well as where we went wrong . . .
This year God taught me a lot! I want to share with you two lessons I had to learn the hard way:
1. Being a supportive spouse does not include criticism!
The bible talks about Eve being created to be a helpmate, a support to Adam, her husband. Outside of serving God, I have always viewed this as one of my main purposes in life. However, sometimes I interpret helper or supporter as meaning I should get really involved in my husband's ministry. Usually, this is not a bad thing; however, sometimes I (shamefully) think it is my right to criticize, or as I would attempt to more nicely phrase it: give advice. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in speaking the truth in love. Yet, my husband is affirmation driven and my attitude about his work makes a big difference. Earlier this year we attended an Intentional Living marriage conference, which really convicted me to work on changing my demeanor from critical to positive and supportive. I still fail, more than I like to admit, but God seized this opportunity to overhaul my sometimes pessimistic spirit and reteach me about joy. Another resource God encouraged me through was "Becoming Your Husband's Cheerleader" by Robyn McKelvy. She also wrote a book called "Say It Loud: Becoming Your Husband's Personal Cheerleader". Here is a link to a radio interview that she did with Family Life Today.
http://www.familylife.com/audio/series/past-programs-familylife-today/past-familylife-today/20140123-becoming-your-husbands-cheerleader#.UvcGO_tnETA
2. God needs to direct your steps, not you. . .
Jeremiah 10:33 "Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own;
it is not for them to direct their steps."
Often I forget this. I analyze each day, ordering how I think it should go, making my lists. . . (endless lists!) Mitch and I are dedicated to seeking God's will; sadly, sometimes OUR will gets in the way. Let me tell you, when this happens, it does not end well. Last spring, we dedicated hours and hours to a home search. In our minds, renting was not the best way we could manage our money, buying would be so much smarter! Right?! Fortunately, God intervened through the good 'ole Financial Peace Dave Ramsey program to redirect us, "Hey guys, remember your students loans. . . what about that car you just financed?! A mortgage will only burden you further. . . " It was a tough thing to surrender, especially since we had spent hours and hours crunching the finances, talking to a realtor, looking at houses online, etc. We knew if we changed our plans, we would never get that time back. Yet, we could not ignore God's prompting. Our desires had dictated our choices rather than God's plan for us. That lesson taught us that we needed to spend more time with God in prayer and study as a couple. On the bright side, after trimming our budget, rearranging our priorities, and working hard, we entered 2014 DEBT FREE!!!! In addition, for the same price we were paying for our apartment, we were blessed with an opportunity to rent an incredible house (twice the size of our apartment) from a wonderful couple at church. Now, we can focus on other financial goals. God provides!
God has taught us so much, and I know he will continue to refine us day by day and year by year. As you head into Valentine's Day with your spouse, take some time to reflect on what lessons God has taught you during your marriage, and thank him for His guidance!
This year God taught me a lot! I want to share with you two lessons I had to learn the hard way:
1. Being a supportive spouse does not include criticism!
The bible talks about Eve being created to be a helpmate, a support to Adam, her husband. Outside of serving God, I have always viewed this as one of my main purposes in life. However, sometimes I interpret helper or supporter as meaning I should get really involved in my husband's ministry. Usually, this is not a bad thing; however, sometimes I (shamefully) think it is my right to criticize, or as I would attempt to more nicely phrase it: give advice. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in speaking the truth in love. Yet, my husband is affirmation driven and my attitude about his work makes a big difference. Earlier this year we attended an Intentional Living marriage conference, which really convicted me to work on changing my demeanor from critical to positive and supportive. I still fail, more than I like to admit, but God seized this opportunity to overhaul my sometimes pessimistic spirit and reteach me about joy. Another resource God encouraged me through was "Becoming Your Husband's Cheerleader" by Robyn McKelvy. She also wrote a book called "Say It Loud: Becoming Your Husband's Personal Cheerleader". Here is a link to a radio interview that she did with Family Life Today.
http://www.familylife.com/audio/series/past-programs-familylife-today/past-familylife-today/20140123-becoming-your-husbands-cheerleader#.UvcGO_tnETA
2. God needs to direct your steps, not you. . .
Jeremiah 10:33 "Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own;
it is not for them to direct their steps."
Often I forget this. I analyze each day, ordering how I think it should go, making my lists. . . (endless lists!) Mitch and I are dedicated to seeking God's will; sadly, sometimes OUR will gets in the way. Let me tell you, when this happens, it does not end well. Last spring, we dedicated hours and hours to a home search. In our minds, renting was not the best way we could manage our money, buying would be so much smarter! Right?! Fortunately, God intervened through the good 'ole Financial Peace Dave Ramsey program to redirect us, "Hey guys, remember your students loans. . . what about that car you just financed?! A mortgage will only burden you further. . . " It was a tough thing to surrender, especially since we had spent hours and hours crunching the finances, talking to a realtor, looking at houses online, etc. We knew if we changed our plans, we would never get that time back. Yet, we could not ignore God's prompting. Our desires had dictated our choices rather than God's plan for us. That lesson taught us that we needed to spend more time with God in prayer and study as a couple. On the bright side, after trimming our budget, rearranging our priorities, and working hard, we entered 2014 DEBT FREE!!!! In addition, for the same price we were paying for our apartment, we were blessed with an opportunity to rent an incredible house (twice the size of our apartment) from a wonderful couple at church. Now, we can focus on other financial goals. God provides!
God has taught us so much, and I know he will continue to refine us day by day and year by year. As you head into Valentine's Day with your spouse, take some time to reflect on what lessons God has taught you during your marriage, and thank him for His guidance!
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